Self Session I

"Overall how have you been to yourself?"

not horrible for the most part. i still have my days where my brain goes into overdrive and find myself stuck on something for the next hour or so. replaying scenarios where i wish i said something else even if it did lead to a aggressive behavior....

"what such scenarios bring you to want to behave as such?"

situations where i feel i am being disrespected and feeling less than and insignificant. situations where I felt like i did not mean as much as i thought i did to someone...although i have taken the liberty to discuss some moments to where i wanted to be fully transparent on a certain matter.

"great stepping stone towards a better self and a good start to Shadow Work, now, tell me, did doing such relieve any mental strain or weight?"

It did for the most part. I forgive but i never forget, and i never not want to forget because i feel to 'Forgive & Forget' is basically allowing the person you forgive to have gotten away with what they did because "all is forgotten" when really it never was. and its slightly leaving room for them to do it again. You can genuinely Forgive them Just always remember what they did so it will never happen again.

"Which i can agree with, Do you ever feel that you're stuck in the past when it comes to certain things?"

Not.... entirely. when i see or am reminded of something that may have happened i cant help but to re think about such things again and reflect on how everything happened. but i keep them to myself typically due to not wanting to feel like im always bringing up old matters.....plus i hate sounding like a broken record..

"Do you feel you have a solid support circle to where you can talk about such things when they happen?"

I do, really. its just I know everyone else has their own things going on. and if i spoke to someone EVERY time the thoughts come to mind i would feel VERY annoying. because honestly i have even found myself feeling slightly annoyed when someone frequently comes to me about whatever it is on their mind because sometimes i dont have the energy to give my full attention...

"which is valid, plus writing things out as a substitute to talking to someone is always a good idea too. If you could recall how many people would you actually consider your closest friends? an inner circle if you will."

at least 5 for sure. then there's a few others i would place a just Friends. nothing more nothing less. then all the rest are just acquaintances. just merely background characters in my life. hell some i dont even place as friends, they're just a friend of a mutual friend we share and that's all they'll ever be to me.

"In the past year, overall how have your emotions been?"

Honestly , good for the most part. i've been keeping them in check. although there have been times where i catch myself... one example being i've been not wanting to like someone or certain people even though they didn't do anything to me. I dont hate them or wish bad on them. they just simply have zero significance to me. and when they are around, which isn't a lot its as if their energy doesn't sit right with mine sometimes. but at the same time i've been trying to not let it bother me because in the end it a Me issue.

"Well i'm sure the person would been understanding of such a thing."

I know, just one the few things I've been working on for myself.... i just dont want to ruin any significant relationships with those i care about. i already feel like a mess as is.

"Honestly i think you are making great strides, tell me, what are things you are grateful for NOW?"

my apartment, katia, my boyfriend, a good paying job, my friends & family, and my art...

"Next time you find yourself spiraling down or overwhelmed with emotions and thoughts refer back to what you just listed,"