March 23, 2022 | 3 month update

2022 has been a wave of emotions for me the past 3 months. it all started out in near the end of january when i got the biggest shock of my life. a positive pregnancy test. it felt like a bad dream, fear and panic seeped in immediately as I quickly googled for an abortion appointment. i even tried remedies such as drinking mugwort tea and taking a lot of ibprophen. anything that would get rid of the nightmare i was going through.

after finding out i was stressed and scared the entire time, idk how i managed to go to work that next day. but before i even did that i wanted to tell my boyfriend but i just didnt know when or how, i wanted to do it in person but my nerves were so bad i decided to call instead which was the hardest phone call i ever made. he was 1000% supportive of whatever decision i wanted to do and supported me no matter what.

after i told him i then told my mom who was also supportive of whatever decisions i wanted to do which definitely eased my mind a bit during the whole experience. The appointment i made with planned parenthood was about a week out after i found out so anticipation was high. before that appointment we had went to a women's center that offer free services while they were helpful in confirming that i was indeed pregnant it got a little weird once i told them i wanted to abort. i knew they didnt offer abortion services and could only give general info on what it is and how it affects the body which is fine but their whole vibe felt like -- "yeah u can abort if u want but just THINK about it longer because this could be a 'blessing' "

Spoiler: we already made up our minds to terminate regardless.

so things get interesting as we get to my original appointment with PP around this time i was spotting and passing small clots at this point i was convinced i was having a miscarriage. i get to the clinic, do paperwork, talk to the nurses on whats going on. they do an ultrasound however they couldn't find any form of pregnancy in my uterus . because they couldn't find anything they sent me home and to wait for a phone call.

few hours later i get a call, basically telling me to go to the ER for a possible ectopic pregnancy. now i never heard of this term til now and when i googled it & it said it was a rare occurrence so i thought maybe that wasnt the case. maybe its still a miscarriage .

I get to the ER they do more bloodwork, send me to a room where a doctor did a pelvic exam and another ultrasound. mind you its like 8 or 9PM by this point the PP appointment was at like 2PM. i was also all by myself too with a phone on like 25%

after the 1st doctor they transferred me to this other room where a lady did a more thorough ultrasound. she took many pictures and videos then sent me back to my original room. after than another doctor came in and confirmed that i was ectopic and that the egg was in my tube and that i'll need surgery basically the next day.

after going through all the details of what they'll be doing they transferred me to another room where i had to but on a robe and hook me up to machines and an IV. its like 11PM by now. my boyfriend was off work by then and was able to bring my phone charger. unfortunately he couldnt come to my room at that time.

ive never spent the night at a hospital so getting any sleep wasnt easy. of course many nurses and aids coming in and out to get vitals was something i was not used to. but it wasnt that bad. my surgery was scheduled around 12pm i think. this was also my 1st time being put under anesthesia as well which i wasnt all that scared of. all i remember was breathing into the mask and going to sleep then waking up in the recovery area . they did 3 incisions on my stomach 1 on the belly button then one on each side of it.

because it was snowing later that day my mom couldnt pick me up so i had to wait for my boyfriend to get off work to get me which was a little after 11PM i actually felt better than i thought i would after the operation it was just hard to sit up . but i was just glad to finally leave, Mikey got me food at waffle house then took me home. i'm just glad to have supportive people like him and my mom to help me go through this smoothly.

I couldnt work for 2 weeks, the 1st week was pretty hard since it was still hard to sit up so i was bed ridden for the most part. that 2nd week i was able to move better enough to drive a bit and even did a lil bit of DoorDash & Instacart.

while it was a nice break to do a few things i enjoyed i did get a lil bored near the end. Once i was good to work again i was 100% recovered and was able to go back to regular day to day things. I had a post op check up with the surgeon as well and decided to start a new Birth control too. my scars healed pretty nicely and he also told me it was the right tube they took out and that was pretty swollen and purple.

All in all im glad it over and that the nightmare is over and i that i can put it behind me. but this experience definitely put a perspective on life for me as well. that sudden emergencies can happen anytime that will put you out for days or weeks. I'm also in a point in my life where i can comfortably talk about it now and share my story with others.

Since then life has been not to bad, Mikey and I will be moving into a new apartment soon in April which i am ecstatic for. I am currently transitioning to finding a new job because my current one is basically going out of business. i'm just indecisive because i applied to 2 separate jobs essentially doing the same thing but different hours and working days that may not go in my favor. one just pays .75 cents more than the other but i may stick with the 1st option only because its more convenient for me at the moment since i'm in a weird transition in life with trying to move and keep bills and rent paid. maybe after we're settled in our new place i may go for something different. til then i just wanna do whats comfortable for me.

Well that was pretty much my past 3 months of 2022 summed up. its been.... a slight challenge but i think i'm gonna be ok here on out. My weight loss has been showing, i finally started my online shop for my art/Merch, and i'm gonna be living in a beautiful apartment with someone that actually loves me and has my best interest.