April 26th, 2022 | About a month Later!

Realized my last post was roughly a month ago even then a lot more has happened but more good than bad this time!

While I did start a new job I quickly realized it wasn't the best fit for me far as work environment so naturally I took a risk and put in a 2 weeks notice and sought other jobs, I've soon realized I also want my weekends back too. while most job postings were either early morning shifts, or required 5 day workdays. I carefully considered going back to an Amazon position that is close to home however its overnight which I haven't done in almost 3 years. it was a 4 day work week with thurs, fri, and sat off even tho the pay was 15.85.... But im also considering going to yet ANOTHER DSP that may possibly have not AS heavy workloads and hopefully a schedule in my favor . so we'll see how everything goes....

Last but not least and most importantly Mikey and I moved into our new apartment back on the 18th! its been a highly anticipating moment for the both of us and we've both been pretty excited nervous and scared since move in. scared for fear of not wanting to mess anything up between us which is a very real and valid feeling to have. especially living with a S.O for the 1st time (for him) .

As humans we can definitely get too inside our heads sometimes weather its intrusive thoughts or general concern. I know I deal with it from time to time but I've definitely gotten better over the years.(least I think) you gotta come to terms that you cant let past traumas hinder what you have now especially if its been going good. it's different for everyone but I've came to terms to trusting the process no matter how scary or anxiety inducing it may be.

One thing I recently became interested in once I have the right resources and/or income is to find a therapist preferably a black female one. while the people in my life have been a great help i think a few sessions with a profession will give me slightly better guidance.

But overall things have been honestly good, I'm not the up most best person in my eyes for I'm not proud of some of the things I've done in the past years. I simply aim to have a better life, be a better person and a better Partner.